Pictures!

Go here to see photos! I'll be updating it soon too!

Lame Jokes and Cruel People

I hung out with Josh the other night. He came over and we talked for awhile, and then Emily came home and gave him the grand tour of her bug "collection", which was fun. And then after that we watched my 10th anniversary dvd of Conan.
I would say that things went well. We had a lot of time to talk and just get to know eachother, and I'm so glad that that's over with! That's the one thing I kind of hate about meeting new people, now we can just hang out and know the basic foundation of one another.
I think that Josh likes me, and though I did say I had a crush on him, it's nothing I plan to pursue. Just with the way that I feel about Tony and our whole stupid situation that we're trying to correct, I don't really feel "dateable" at the moment.
Blah.
Josh is a cool guy; he's 23 and from Kansas. He's already been through school and I forgot the exact time...but he wants to work as like a DNR or related. He wears a loose brown and orange hot cocked to one side on his head ALL the time which is rather cute and he wears his hair a little long and messy. Definitely cute. He smokes...ciggerettes and pot...not so cute. He doesn't quite have the sense of humor I'm looking for; he laughs at my jokes but doesn't really join in and he makes some corny jokes sometimes. Oh well, I look forward to a friendship.

Aside from that, I had about the worst day of my life a couple days ago. To start out, I had a major breakdown in the morning which Tony was witness to. I just felt really upset with some things that are going on between us and just little things in my own life. He was there to hug me and talk to me and I got through it. At 3 I had to be at my creative writing class to read my writing about Tony to the whole class. I almost didn't go since I had felt so upset, but I went. Tony waved me off with a "good luck" and I trudged into the class feeling confident. I read the paper and felt good about it, especially since I had made some changes to it which I felt were definite improvements. But when I got done reading it, the class was just dead silent and no one seemed to want to comment on it. People looked down as sparse comments were made about how my piece was too vague. No one really had anything to offer and I just felt like complete shit.

Oh well. They can all eat my ass.

Pathetic Now?

I finally grew balls and did it. I saw that Josh was working tonight, but was confused if it would be him or not. There are two different overnight Josh's and I saw that this one was coming in at 9. When 9 neared, my heart began to race and I just felt so overwhelmingly nervous! But 9 passed with no sign of Josh. It wasn't until 9:30 that he came in, just when I thought I could be calm for the rest of the night. At the sight of him and that little brown and orange hat he wears, my heart started to drum once more. He walked by my lane and I noticed him looking at me as he took off towards the back room. I thought I was done for the night; he hadn't come through my lane and I wouldn't be able to take that chance and ask him to hang out. While putting away stray (stuff that people decided they didn't want and we have to put back) tonight, I saw him pulling out carts of items to be stocked. I was working in the market area, when suddenly he showed up. I was walking into an aisle when he passed by and I noticed him turn his head to look at me. (God...this is so middle-school!) As I went back to the cart to grab some items, I said "hi" to him as he walked by. "Hi Liz." He replied. This caught me by surprise that he said my name for we had never introduced one another before. Granted I wear a nametag, but it's cool that he took note to it.
I grabbed some soup to put away and then noticed to my delight, and nervousness, that he was stocking the shelves in that aisle. I walked in there, he looked up and smiled at me, and right away I said, "Alright, this is coming out of nowhere but I've been wanting to ask for a long time. Do you want to hang out sometime?"
"Sure." He said.
"You got a cell phone on you?" I asked.
He didn't, so he gave me his number, told me to call it so he had my number, and said that he'd call me sometime. After that we started to small talk a bit and I found out that he's from Kansas.

Oh, I was just in such a good mood after that!

Pathetic

So, I knew Josh was working tonight...remember, the overnight guy I've got a wee crush on? I got done with work at 8:30 and knew he was coming in at 9:00. I was talking to Kenny about him, a guy who works on the sales floor and who used to work nights and knows Josh, and he was telling me I should wait in the break room until Josh got there. When I got off of work, I decided to do this, even though I felt like throwing up. I was blushing just at the sheer thought at what I was about to do. In the break room, I noticed a humongous coffee thermos and knew that this overnight guy that I talk to every now and then was there, so when he showed up, I sat down and talked to him about old video games and tv for a 1/2 hour. 9:00 came and the overnight people made ready to clock in. Josh had not come yet and instead of sitting alone and looking like I was waiting for someone, I decided to leave, hoping that he'd be walking in just as I was leaving. He didn't though... It wasn't until I got on my bike that I noticed a person walking in that looked like him. Oh blah.

And Out of Nowhere...

Bad Bad me...I haven't been blogging lately. I'm almost at the tail end of working 7 days in a row at Target, Tuesday will be my 7th day.

Blah.

Oh well, it's good money, and I definitely need money. A few weeks ago, I got pulled over for the first fucking time...for speeding on University. The PO-lice man explained that I was only getting a citation, so it wouldn't be affecting my license or insurance, it would just wind up costing me $140.

"Joy."

I went home the weekend of Halloween and went to a little house party with Jay, Rachel, and her new boy-toy named Jake. I went with a vintage look; I wore a black dress, pearls, black heels, a fur wrap-around, and a vintage gangster hat. I wanted to get wasted, but failed to do so as I had a splitting headache and was tired.

Some INTERESTING news...found out that my ex-bf had a 3-some with a girl and guy in which he and the other guy both fucked the girl at the same time...and in the same place... Yeah. And now he claims he's bisexual and is in a relationship with the guy he had the 3-some with.

He just doesn't know he's completely gay yet.

What else...well, I have this crush on a guy that works overnight at Target. His name is Josh and I've been told he's already gone through school. Yeah, and he's working overnight at Target? It happens. I've spoken to him a few times, just said some dumb and sarcastic things. The other night he came through my lane and I was litterly shaking. I don't know how to approach this whole thing. I think he knows I'm interested, and he responds well when I talk to him; he laughs and all that good shit. He's come through my lane twice...am I just supposed to ask, "So...want my number?" It's beginning to kill me!

Supposedly I have a stalker at school, though he has failed to stalk me very well. I'm still waiting for him to show himself.

Isn't it Ironic?

Don't you think?

Scalin' A Building

The other night Tony and I hung out. We were biking to my place and going through downtown. I had my digital camera with me and we kept stopping to take pictures of the buildings around us. At one point, we turned off of Nicolet and headed up to Hennepin, when Tony started biking up a ramp into a parking garage. I followed along and we went up to the top floor of the parking garage. As I stood atop a ledge and made ready to start snapping pictures, Tony yelled out, "Wait!"
He pointed to this apartment building next to us that was probably around 8 stories high and there on the side was a staircase that went all the way to the top of the building. "We have to go up there." Tony said.
We took the spiraling exit down a couple floors and locked our bikes to this chain link fence that was set up in the space between the two levels of the garage. There was a locked door that opened to the platform of the stairs, but as it was locked, we had to think of another way to get over there. I climbed onto the concrete ledge and swumg myself over onto the other side of the fence, walking precariously above the ground, two stories up. I could get my foot over to the platform, but there was this square piece of concrete that was jutting out of a corner that I couldn't get my arm to wrap around to grab the other side of the fence. I had to retreat defeated. Then Tony went and was able to swing himself over to the platform, and from there he opened the door for me. We climbed up the stairs and then climbed the ladder to the roof of the building. It was so great! We were able to sit on the ledge and take pictures of Hennepin at night. We also watched as some people met up on the top floor of the parking garage to do beer bongs. On the way down, a guy that was in a parking lot near the parking garage walked over to a corner of the building we were climbing down from and proceeded to pull down his pants and start peeing. I found this highly amusing and stood a story above him and watched and I waited until his friend saw me and then I waved.
"Hey, that girl saw your penis!" His friend yelled.
Heh, I just started laughing.

Tony and I have further plans for climbing buildings.
I really should put my pictures online.

12 Year Reunion

I was biking over the Hennepin bridge on my way to class today when suddenly a felt a nasty stinging sensation on my right leg as though I had been bitten or pierced with a needle. I think I saw something flying away with black wings, but didn't see what actually stung me, I just knew it hurt really bad. I had a red dot where it happened and began to swell pretty quickly. I had not been stung since I was around 7 or so and so I didn't really remember what it felt nor looked like. I called up my mom and asked, "What does it look like when you get stung?"
By the time I got to school, about 5 inches of my leg had turned red and was swollen and I had a "safety guy" come and take me from class to clean up my leg. I thought the swelling might get intense, but as I sat in class, it slowly went away.
It just worried me for I knew that I used to be allergic to bee and wasp stings, but since I never got stung as I was older, I had no idea how I was going to react. But it's going away on it's own...it still aches and such but the swelling has gone down and the redness is disapating.

Blah, stupid wasp or bee...or whatever the hell it was.

Ok...?

So no one has any comments about woofing? No one checked it out and is giving their opinion on whether they like the idea or not?

Other than that, I got locked out of my house for an hour yesterday. It sucked. I had gotten up early to go jogging. Emily was still asleep when I left but I could hear her alarm clock going off and so I sent her a text saying, "Do not lock the door, I'm jogging." About 20 minutes later, I hadn't received a reply and so I resent the message and then I got, "I already left!"
She hadn't seen my first text for she had been asleep. I told her to have her bf Matt come let me in for he has a key and only lives a few blocks away. She told me she had called him and that he'd be there in about 15 mintues and I told her to have him just unlock the door and leave. I get home about 15-20 minutes later and the doors are locked and he's not there. I wait 15 minutes and I'm calling Emily to tell her that he's not there and I don't see him coming down the road. She calls his house to find out that he has already left. I wait, and still no sign of Matt. So Matt didn't come and Emily ended up having to call her mother to come let me in, and I waited outside in the "cold" in only shorts and a tank top for an hour. It sucked.

Better news, I got my camera last night; a canon-a80. I find that I just can't stop taking pictures now. But that's how it always is with new things. When I first got my cell phone, I was almost walking into walls because I just couldn't stop playing with it. And now it's my best bud.

A'WOOFING we will go...

Tony and I may have found our ticket to Italy!

While Tony was working at Lund's the other night, a girl who had done this was sent to talk to him by one of his coworkers who knew Tony was looking for a way to get to Italy. He got the address to the site from her and we checked it out the other night and it's like a dream come true. It'll be nice for before Tony talked of us getting an apartment in Rome which I felt a bit hesitant about as it'd just cost so much money and we'd still have to find a job on top of that. With this we will have accomadation AND a job.

How awesome will it be to say, "Yeah...I'm going to be living in Italy and working on a farm this summer."

"Moving"

With my influence, Tony has decided that he wants to move overseas with me for the summer. We both really want to live in Italy as we have both been and just loved the place. We also thought about maybe going to Ireland, since they actually speak English there.
Tony has cousins in Italy...and so maybe we have a connection there for a place to stay. Anyone have advice or know of a site to check out where I can get information about moving to Europe for the summer?

Oh Yeah

Scary...

The other day, Tony sent me an e-mail of something he had written while sitting in Loring Park. I could not believe what I was reading. I mean...see any resemblence between his little writing and my story?? Tony knows that I have written a story that I will not allow him to read, but that's as far as he knows about it. And I wrote it like three weeks ago, this is only two days old...

"TODAY, PARADISE"
As I walk this path, It guides me through paradise. Paradise that is separated into smaller paradises by an endless number of rolling hills, that I cannot see beyond. When I ascend to the top of one hill, I am warmed by sunlight, and can see new grass covered hills, and I am happy. When I descend into the valley between two hills I emerse into the shade of a new tree, and am surrounded by vibrant vegetation that outlines my path, and I am happy then too. The wind brings a different scent each time it comes, and a new thought is remembered. I realize that paradise is not only around me but also inside me everytime I breath, or take in these placid visions. My paradise is nothing more thatn a walk in the park on a sunny day.

Hills that he cannot see beyond? Hills that he climbs and he sees sunshine? Vibrant vegetation?

The First Revision

Here is the revision of my story that I presented to my creative writing class. Well, to two people in my class anyways. The guy who was in my group said that he really liked the story; he liked the way the environment reflected what was going on with the boy. He liked the little vagueness for anyone who reads the story could make it their own.

I have also put it on here for my friend Rachel should be coming to the site soon to read it, and I'm just trying to get as much feedback as possible.

There once was a boy who lived in a land of plenty. His childhood days were sunny and warm and full of many things to do. He lived with a loving family in a little brown house atop a small hill that overlooked the surroundings lands that resembled a vast green ocean. Day after day he’d play in the misty green grass with his brother and there never seemed to be a cloud in the sky.
But as the boy grew older, his days became darker. Nights were an inky black which even the strongest light could not penetrate. Paths that crossed distant hills and far off lands, once seen by day, were now obscured by thick clouds that dragged themselves across a forlorn sky, blocking out the warming rays of the sun.
Demons came to visit the boy and instead of shutting them out, he invited them in. He was a vulnerable boy at this time in his life. With obscured paths on the horizon, he felt lost. The demons kept him locked inside, not only within his house, but also within his mind. Days became darker and they meddled into one another. The boy put off everything. No longer did he still gaze out on the fogging hills to try and catch glimpses of what he had once been able to see, for he had lost interest in many things and his dreams had waned. He let time slip slowly by and without a thought. Others looked on with fear, family and friends. But with his hood pulled up, he seeemed untouchable to everyone.

His friends left to seek greater things, his family grew, but the boy remained the same.

Then one day, the boy chanced a glance out the window; his world had grown far darker since he last remembered. He saw his reflection in the window and pulled down his hood to reveal his face. How much he had grown, how much he had never realized. He touched his face and his fears were confirmed: it really was himself that he saw staring back. But there was something else that scared him. He could see the hint of his demons within his face. It now became apparent that they were slowly consuming him; he was only feeding his demons and making things worse.
Suddenly an anger arose within the bo;, anger with himself for letting his world get so dark, for allowing life to just pass him by. He cast out his demons and shut the door on them.

The next morning, he left.

He traveled day and night, for they seemed to be just a continuum of one another; it seemed day never ended and night never began. He traveled with his hood pulled tight for he felt utterly alone and at times hopeless.
But he trudged on with the feeling that this was the right thing to do. Upon sleep he dreamed of lands he had once glimpsed as a child and he awoke each morning with renewed vigor and set out to seek such places.
One day the boy came upon a very tall hill with sides that stretched out for miles. In the far distance of the sky, he could see its tones becoming lighter, even if only minutely, foreshadowing a hope of lands he dreamed of. He set out without hesitation and began to climb, and when he finally reached the top, he fell down on his knees and gaped at the beauty he saw before him. Miles and miles on he could see. In the far-off distance, he could see lands of deep green and skies of pearl blue. He threw back his hood and down the hill he began to descend.
With each passing day the sky turned a shade lighter. No longer was it an inky black, but instead a grand blue, and then an amber orange. Every day gave promise of much more. Paths were clearer and there were more and more that he came upon. The grass was fuller and the flowers ever so vibrantly colored.
But yet the boy knew that this was still yet the beginning. There were many paths to take, more hills to climb. He knew he’d happen upon gullies and brambles. But fear this, he did not. For whatever gully or bramble he came across, he knew there’d be brighter sunshine and even more paths to follow. He kept his eyes locked on the distant horizon in front of him and took each step with an unwavering heart.

And now there is a boy, who is turning into a man; he’s crossing roads he once could not see, and never chancing a look back at the things that used to be.

Hate

I hate being so young.

I hate having feelings.

I hate that I'm sensitive and insecure.

I hate that I can't just let things be as they are.

I hate...

I just need to rant.

Ebay Anonymous

I have probably just done one of the worst things I could do as a young girl with a fresh, new credit card.

I have registered at Ebay.

The real reason I registered there is because I have been yearning for a Claddagh ring, I got one a year ago when I was in Ireland that was beautiful! It was sterling silver, had a green stone, and then two little white stones on the sides. But one night at Target, it fell off my finger without my noticing, and I never saw it again. Since then I've been wanting another and I've tried searching on internet for my exact ring and have found nothing. So last night I searched on Ebay and I found something similar, and cheap. Though it's nothing quite like my old ring, it's not as cheap looking as some of the other ones out there.
And then today I bid on a digital camera, a Canon A80. Heehee...ok, it's really not as bad as it sounds. I talked to Mom before I did anything and it's going to be my X-mas present if I get it; it's only $50.00

Man...there are so many things I WANT!

This is bad...

Revising

Tomorrow I will be reading my writing to a small group in my creative writing class. Guess I'll see how they like it, or not like it. Our teacher tells us to take risks with our writings, and I feel that I'm definitely taking a risk with writing a dark story in the form of a children's story. This was definitely a different writing for me; I had never been able to just write short stories before, nor had I been successful in my attempts to write children's stories.
So I have been revising my paper in the last few days and as is common with revisions, I feel that it is defintely a lot stronger and more clear than before. This has also got me thinking. I'd like to set up some sort of web-site where I can post my writings and then have a link to it on my blog? Anyone know of any site that I could do this on?

Oh, it was all nice and sunny when I woke up and biked to school today. And now I'm stuck at school with the foreshadow of a thunderstorm. "Joy." I had to bike home in the rain last night and got soaked pushing carts int he parking lot last night at Target. Heehee, last night was funny. I and another girl were pushing carts when suddenly this wall of wind and rain just hit us. All these carts that we had lined up and ready to push inside were ripped away from us and just went sailing across the parking lot. Oh...but a line of carts hit a ladies car and put a HUGE dent in the back bumper. Oops... :)

"There Once was a boy..."

I have written a story that I feel is probably the best thing I've written. Thing is, it's only two pages long, and it's nothing like anything else I've written; it's a childrens story. Well, sort of. At least I can imagine reading this to my children some day, hopefully many years from now. : )
I have written a story about Tony; the idea of it just happened upon me one day while at Target. I just knew that for his birthday/X-mas present, I wanted to write him a story in the form of a children's book, and I wanted it to start with "There once was a boy..."
So in the past couple of weeks, I worked on this in bits and pieces; I did more thinking about it than writing really. One night I finished it and typed it up on word and just felt really good about it.
I think I will be submitting this for my writing workshop for my creative writing class, but before I do that, I would REALLY appreciate feedback from anyone who visits this site. Please read over it and tell me what you like and what you think I could improve on. Or maybe something needs explained further? More detail? Feel free to copy and paste this into word, put some feedback on it, and then e-mail it to me at neiniel@yahoo.com Actually, I encourage EVERYONE to do this.

Thank you!

(Oh...and I know I use too many "more" 's at the end of the story. I need suggestions.)



"There once was a boy who lived in a land of plenty. His childhood days were sunny and warm and full of many tings to do.
But as the boy grew older, his days became darker. Nights were an inky black which even the strongest light could not penetrate. Paths that crossed distant hills and far off lands, once seen by day, were now obscured by thick clouds that drug themselves across a forlorn sky, blocking out the warming rays of the sun.
Demons came to visit the boy and instead of shutting them out, he invited them in. He was a vulnerable boy at this time in his life. With obscured paths on the horizon, he felt lost.
Days became darker and they meddled into one another. The boy put off everything. No longer did he still gaze out on the fogging hills to try and catch glimpses of what he had once been able to see.. He let time slip slowly by and without a thought. Others looked on, family and friends. But with his hood pulled up, he seeemed untouchable to everyone.
Then one day, the boy chanced a glance out the window; the world had grown far darker since he last remembered. He saw his reflection in the window and pulled down his hood, revealing his face. How much he had grown, how much he had never realized. He touched his face and his fears were confirmed: it really was himself that he saw staring back.
Suddenly an anger arose within the boy, anger with himself for letting his world get so dark, for allowing life to just pass him by. He cast out his demons and shut the door on them.
The next morning, he left.
He traveled day and night, for they seemed to be just a continum of one another. It seemed day never ended and night never began.
He traveled with his hood pulled tight. He felt utterly alone and at times hopeless. But he trudged on with the feeling that this was the right thing to do. Upon sleep he dreamed of lands he had once glimpsed as a child and he awoke each morning with renewed vigour and set out to seek such places.
One day the boy came upon a very tall hill with sides that stretched out for miles. In the far distance of the sky, he could see its tones becoming lighter, even if only minutely, foreshadowing a hope of lands he dreamed of.
He set out without hesitation and began to climb, and when he finally reached the top, he fell down on his knees and gaped at the beauty he saw before him.
Miles and miles on he could see. In the far-off distance, he could see lands of deep green and skies of pearl blue. Down the hill he began to descend.
With each passing day the sky turned a shade lighter. No longer was it an inky black, but instead a grand blue, and then an amber orange. Every day gave promise of much more.
Paths were more clear and there were more and more that he came upon. The grass was fuller and the flowers ever so vibrantly colored.
But yet the boy knew that this was still yet the beginning. There were many paths to take, more hills to climb. He knew he’d happen upon gullies and brambles. But fear this, he did not. For whatever gully or bramble he came across, he knew there’d be brighter sunshine and even more paths to follow. He kept his eyes locked on the distant horizon in front of him and took each step with an unwavering heart.
And now there is a boy, who is turning into a man; he’s crossing roads he once could not see, and never chancing a look back at the things that used to be."

Expensive Feet

So Tony and I hopped on the light-rail yesterday for the first time. I must say, I really did enjoy the light rail. I like being in a city that has a unique form of transportaion, kind of like a subway, only the light-rail was much smoother than the subs in New York. Tony and I both agreed yesterday that they should extend the light-rails to connect all parts of the cities together. It's just a nice way to travel, save for the fact that they aren't that big and get crowded easily.
We got to the mall of america around 6:30 and began looking around for shoe stores. We went to Journey's and didn't really find anything there that I liked and we also checked out Steve Madden. There were these shoes there that we both liked, but they were from the spring and so the biggest size they had in them was a 6 1/2 and I needed a 7. We found this Puma shoe store and headed into there. There were a few shoes in there that I really liked; Tony kept pulling down shoes and was asking if I liked them or not. The guy working there was talking to us about the various types of shoes they had and about all the different ones he owned. We were at the men's shoes and he pointed out a pink puma shoe and said, "You've got to be a confident man to wear that." Then he admitted that he had one and said, "I love pink." Tony and I later laughed about this for just last week we were at Marshall's looking at men's shirts and laughing at the pink polos, saying, "Who would ever wear this?"
Well, I guess we've met him.
The last place we went to was Nordstrom's and there were some great diesel shoes there. I tried on a couple pairs and found a gray and burgandy pair that I really liked, and ended up buying. While I was trying on shoes, Tony asked where the men's shoes were. We headed over to the men's section and he started looking at diesel shoes. "I'm just going to try some on." He said.
So he tried them on and liked them...and then he bought them. Hehe, we went shoe shopping for ME and then Tony ends up buying the same brand as I.

So I just spend $94 on shoes, and Tony just spent $90. As we went to bed last night, Tony just started to laugh. "I just bought a pair of diesel shoes today."

Nothin' Much

School

School has started back up again. I've already got an Abnormal Psychology test on Wednesday, and I have no idea how it'll go. The Professor doesn't give you notes for what will be on the test, instead he just tells you to study the text. So I've spent hours reading and taking notes from the text. Hope it goes well.
Because of school it'll be almost a week until I see Tony again. He has two tests on Tuesday and he's using the time that he doesn't work to study. Last semester we spent a lot of our free time together and watched as one another failed our classes due to lack of motivation. (We didn't literally fail.) So we've learned from our mistakes and see that we need to have school come first, or as Tony told me yesterday, "I just really want to make sure I do well, or else it'll just be a waste of my money." For me, it'll be a waste of my parents money.

Big Spender

I got my first credit card the other day, it's a Citi Bank card that gives me 5% cash back on most of my purchases. Nice. I've already accumulated 24 cents. Oh yeah... But hey, I can use it at grocery stores and gas stations and get a little money back that I never would have with using checks, so it IS a nice thing.
I keep telling myself and others that I will not be one of those people who gets caught up in the card and just ends up buying tons of shit and doesn't pay for it. I've assured my mother I'll only buy things that I'm buying already and ALWAYS pay it off at the end of the month.
On Wednesday, Tony and I plan to hop on the light-rail (which should be exciting as we're both light-rail virgins) and go down to the mall of america. Good idea for someone with a credit card right? I'm going to be buying 70-80 dollar shoes while I'm there. Not because of the card, I've been planning on doing this for awhile. I need new shoes really bad. The pumas I have are about 4-5 years old; there's no padding left and my feet kill after standing around for 8 hours at Target and on the left shoe, the side is being pushed out because I walk on the insides of my feet. I want to get some diesal shoes. I might get another pair of pumas. Who knows. The other day, Tony and I looked at Gola shoes and I really liked how they looked, but they were about $80, and I just need to have some more options.

Critter Sitter

Emily's gone for the weekend so I am the official "Critter Sitter." She and her bf went to New York City to visit her cousin who just had a baby. It's kind of nice to have the house alone, but also not. With Tony swamped with studies and no one else to hang out, it feels like my first semester here when I didn't know anyone. Oh well. I think this calls for hanging out with Ian late at night at the parking garage. Such fun!