TOP DAWG

Just a quick note...I hate that spelling of "dog", but I had to get the "dawg" sound.

Anyways, I had a pretty interesting weekend, and I will start with X-Mas Eve at Target. (The stories that I tell are not in the right order.) Something that I found interesting, but others may not...I had an auctioneer come through my lane on X-Mas Eve. I always wear this very sparkly vintage necklace that I get tons of compliments and comments on and people are always telling me I should have it appraised. Well this guy comes through and told me that I had a "very nice necklace." I told him thanks and said, "I love vintage jewelry."
"So do I. I sell jewelry and accessories at auctions."
So I took off my necklace and had him look at it and he said it was a very nice piece, but not much more came out of that.

On X-Mas Eve at Target I also got hit on by a young black guy. I was finishing with another "guest" when he came to my lane. The first thing he said to me was, "I like the pink." As he said this, I could see him looking me up and down and I thought, "Fuck, I don't want to deal with this." (I blush really easily when guys hit on me and it's embarassing.) When I turned to him to start scanning, he got real close and said all "smooth-like", "Can I take you out sometime?"
Suddenly Tony popped into my head and told me, "Tell him you have a bf or that you're 17."
So I told the guy that I had a bf and he just jeered, "Is it serious? Has it been like...one month??"
I am such a bad liar and said, "No...it's been like 10 months..."
He just left saying that he'd be back to ask again. I'm "sure" he will.

The biggest story of that night though....everyone remember my "Ball Straps" story? Well, this is sort of like that. I had this older couple come through my lane; not older as in elderly but older as in like 40. The guy was joking around the whole time he was in my lane; he was just giving me a hard time and such. When they were turning to leave, he said to me, "You getting any toys for X-Mas?"
In my head, I'm thinking back to last year when I got a cutlery set, a coffee maker and a crock pot and I'm thinking of these items as the "adult" versions of toys, and so innocently I just blurted out, "Adult toys."
I realized my mistake right there...The guys eyes opened wide and he said, "Adult toys?!"
I tried in vain to save myself and said, "Yeah, like a crock pot!"
There was no hope for me; I could hear him laughing all the way out the door.