This and That

Oh, I had the day off last night...and thank god I did! I've been so busy lately and it's just driving me insane! I mean, I got to class and then I'm home for a couple hours and then I have to go to work. If it's a bad night, I might not get home til midnight. Not wanting to stay up all night and get no sleep, I just shower quick and go to bed and start all over again. Oh, and I have so much shit to get done for school. Plus there are all of my personal things that I like to do like journal and write and read. Stuff that I'm finding I really don't have too much time for! It sucks. But oh well, only about a month longer until the semester is finished and then I can go back home to Iowa for the summer.

While home I'll need a job. I thought about going back to the nursing home, but the hours are crap, even if the pay is good. I'd like to work for my dad - he owns his own gutter business. I like the thought of strapping on that belt with my screwdriver and hammer and climbing up ladders and putting gutters on a house. I just want a job where I literally work. I don't know if my dad would let me though. If I had been born a boy, I'm sure he would have asked me years ago to work with him...

I was talking to Ian about the future yesterday. I've been feeling really restless lately, and have been for quite awhile. So I've been up in Minneapolis...what next? I'd like to move to a bigger city and somewhere farther away. Why? Just to do it; to experience something new again. The idea of living in Seattle intrigues me. The city is so big and I just LOVE how it's almost "cut" into different sections by the ocean. The place is beautiful and I'd love to explore it. But the problems with this...well I just started meeting people and making friends and I'd rather not leave them. Granted, it probably wouldn't be too hard to make new friends as I didn't until I was single and then just started meeting people like crazy. Also, there's the whole money issue. My mother is pushing to me to really seek residency in Minnesota because out of state fees are a killer.

So...then this brings up something else that is really appealing to me right now. I really wouldn't mind taking a break from school for a semester. I'd like to just work and save up money for either school or travel...or a little bit of both. I'm feeling the urge to travel again, but I'm so broke. The thing about taking a break though, it has such bad connotations. I mean, you always hear about people who take a break and who never return because of it. But as I was biking home yesterday, I realized that a lot of my ideas about staying in college and getting it all done at once were kind of based on what everyone thought sounded good. I should do what I feel I want to do. I mean, if I'm feeling restless and feel the need to just make money and travel then I should do what makes me happy. But again, I'm not jumping into anything. If I WERE to take a break, it'd probably be second semester of next year.

Weekend Happenings

First off I just want to update on Brock. I called him last Sunday and he said he'd call me sometime. Well, he has not yet called nor has he texted me or e-mailed me...so who knows. I'm not going insane about it, I'm just slightly confused because he claimed to really like me but now there is just nothing. Oh well, if something happens, it happens. If it doesn't, there is no need to fret about it.

What can I say, I had fun this weekend. I met up with an old friend, made a new good friend, and hung out with an existing friend. A guy from my graduating class named Levi moved up here in about January. We've hung out and partied before in Iowa and we've always been sorta friends and so when he moved up here, I was quite happy. Last time I was in Iowa, I saw him and we exchanged numbers and decided we'd do something the following weekend. So on Friday night, Levi met up with me and Ross at Ross's place. Later on, we met up with this boy named Tony. Tony is a 20-year-old from my speech class who I've been slightly attracted to for a wee while. We've been talking lately cause we were recently in a group together and I told him that if he was ever bored, he should give me a call. So he did, and we all ended up hanging out Friday night. Tony and I had planned on meeting up with Ali, another guy that had been in our group, because he was having a get-together at his place. But when we called the number he had given us, a girl answered and said we got the wrong number. Instead, I called up Ryan, a self-proclaimed nerd who's a cashier at Target, and we went over to his place and just...."chilled." Ryan's is another cool guy that I am just beginning to get to know. He's a big fan of Invador Zim and I have yet to make a date at his place to watch his Invador Zim dvds. I had fun that night, it was nice to just meet up with Levi, especially since he is such an Iowa farm boy and it's humorous to see him up here. Ross is always amusing to hang out with and it was cool to get to know Tony.

Saturday night Tony invited us all back to his Uncle's place in Uptown Minneapolis. His uncle's place is so lovely with wooden floors, comfy furniture and paintings and drawings adorning the walls. We drank at Tony's and watched American History X which was a really good movie. I spent the night at Tony's that night and we spent Easter with each other all day, as we both had no plans for Easter. All day today we just kind of lounged around watching TV and being verbally abusive to one another. For lunch we scoured uptown for any place that was open and ended up at a place called The Green Mill which turned out to be very delicious. While there we had a really good conversation about...well just about people in general. The main focus though was on gay rights.

Tony turned out to be quite different from what I expected. Though I wanted to hang out with him, I hadn't been too sure if he'd be someone that I could just hang out with anywhere at anytime. First impression wise I thought he'd be a little more "hard" and a bit more "gangster-like." I mean, not quite that bad, but he was different than I had imagined. I really like his opinions and views on everything; he's just very open-minded. He likes a lot of good music and has great respect for art of all kinds. He also really seems to understand me and made the comment today, "I can really see you being a writer." Tony's a cool guy and I look forward to hanging out with him in the future.

So just another guy? Nah. Sure, I'm physically and mentally attracted to him, but we both agreed that we're not each other's types. Besides, we're both recently single and we've both discussed how we just really want to enjoy the single life.

Vive el single life!

Confessions of a Teenage Cutter

I have recently taken up a new hobby: cutting my own hair. I don't know, I get really bored with my hair and usually when that happens I get it permed or cut into some new style or dyed or whatnot. Well, I can't really get my hair cut cause I have no money and that's beside the fact that I'm growing my hair out since I've never really had it long.

A couple of years ago my hair used to only be around 2 inches long. I've been growing it out since and because of my short hair cut, I had all these wild and lovely layers. As my hair has grown out and I've gotten it trimmed up, I've lost some of them. Though I've told my hair stylist that I want more layers, she doesn't get as crazy as I'd like. So, I've turned to the one person I can trust: myself. With my razor in hand, I just go to work on my hair. Heehee, yeah, the razor I use to shave my legs I now use to cut my hair. I must say, I am quite proud of my new and awesome bangs I've given myself. But today I decided to go further and cut all around my head. I just picked out little chunks of hair and just started hacking away at them. Heehee, you should have seen the waste basket. I didn't realize quite how much hair I had taken out until I put my hair into a pony-tail and felt how light it had become.

Oh, I'm going to be bald soon.

No Boys Were Harmed

Ok...I'm posting this as a response to what Josh said in my comments about me hurting boys. I can understand how it looks like I'm hurting these guys, I totally understand that. As Tyler could tell you, as well as other friends, I knew that in the case of Steve, it would DEFINITELY look like I was the bad guy; the one who was leading him on. Thing is, I really do not think that it is my fault if any of these boys got hurt, and really, the only one that I think got hurt was Steve.

With Jerry, we never really discussed an actual relationship. The idea came up at times but it was nothing we ever thought realistically about. And we've stopped talking...and there really is no reason why. With Ross...he wasn't looking for a relationship and either was I. Who else... :) There really weren't any other guys, other than just recently. Steve...I really did like Steve at first, but I knew that I wasn't ready to get back into a relationship. Steve really developed feelings but I told him countless times that I didn't want to date him and that I just really wasn't ready to date anyone! I told him he needed to get over me and that all I wanted was to be friends. It's not like I led him on. With Brock...we talked about being a couple, but if it were to happen, it'd start in the summer because he can't really handle a long-distance relationship. So who knows if it'd work out even if it did start in the summer.

I'm single, that's all there is to it. If I find the right guy, I'll start a relationship. For now, I'm just having fun.

And YES Greg! I'll be careful....

Lovely Day

I'm in a pretty damn good mood today. I woke up early and the sun was shining and it looked oh so nice out. I had my breakfast and found a b-day card from my mother that I thought I had lost. I had a nice chat with this guy named Casey who is going to be Brock's future roommate. He's into acting and also into writing plays and screenwriting which is what I hope to someday do. As the weather was nice today, I was able to bike to school which felt really good. 40 minutes of biking and no stupid bus fares! Can't beat that with a stick. And I have ham and bean stew cooking in the crock pot...oh yeah. Good day. And to top it off, I don't have to work tonight!

Yeah...I'm sure something will happen to fuck this day up for me...

Brock-a-Licious

I haven't written in awhile, as I've been back in Iowa and without a computer, but I have returned with some interesting stories. First things first...I MUST talk about a new boy. Yeah, I know, another boy...but this one I really like and I can actually see myself giving up my newly single life for him. Though, I'm not about to just jump into anything. If it happens, it probably won't until the summer. Anyway, his name's Brock and he just recently turned 19 and I went to school with him. Brock is someone I that I always had off and on crushes on. At times I'd be crushing, but then nothing would happen and I'd lose interest, and then my crush would flare up again. I mean, I could always see myself with someone like him, but I just could never see anything happening between us. Thing was, we never really talked and if we did, we never got real into and we never really hung out or anything. Brock's just a really cool guy. He's kind of like me; though he's from a small town he's not afraid to step outside the box and do something different, or just even think differently. He has a very broad taste of music and we both just LOVE some of the same artists. (I just recently got him into Spoon.) He's not afraid to do or say anything and he's always up for random and fun stuff. What more could I ask for? Besides, he plays drums and guitar and he's in the Hawkeye Marching Band. Ooh, and he's an Art major, I love the creative types.

Tuesday night (I think...) Rachel, Kristi, and I headed over to Brock's house for a little pre-party. His birthday party was on Saturday but Kristi was visiting from North Carolina and would be gone by then, so he had a wee pre-party for her. I didn't really know what to expect from the little party, but what happened was definitely unexpected, but totally great! There weren't tons of people there but there were a lot of guys from my grade that...well they weren't exactly the popular jocks, but they were kind of in league with them. Pretty much, they were all people I didn't really talk to. But, then Rachel and I started drinking and we just got out of control! Of course, some of the guys seemed to think that we were pretty entertaining. In middle-school and at times in high school, people called Rachel and I lesbians. So we kept yelling out, "Yeah, but we're lesbians!" in just this loud and joking roar and then I'd say, "But we like dick!" You have to keep in mind that Rachel and I were some of the quietest people in our school. Needless to say, some people were surprised and very amused by us. Then we started talking to one of our classmates named Mike who we always were crushing on. He was pretty drunk and we were outside telling him about how cool we always thought he was and how we always had a crush on him. Mike was stammering, "Why didn't you just-a-tell me then!" He kept shaking our hands and even gave us hugs. It was just the weirdest thing.

Now, I don't know how exactly things got started between Brock and I, but I think it might have started when he told me about how Rachel had shown him a text I sent her the prior weekend. Rachel had been hanging out with Brock and Kristi and texted me to say so and I had sent a text back that said, "I want Brock." I didn't know that Rachel had shown it to him, until he told me this, and then I think...but I'm not sure, that Brock said he too wanted me. Of course this took me by surprise, I never expected that. Then Brock started putting his arm around me and I put my arm around him. He kept telling me all night that I smelled really good. Heehee, it was quite amusing, and sweet. I made sure that I was the last one to leave and I was sobering up by then. I'm not exactly sure what our conversation was that night...but I know we started making-out, and it was nice. What more can I say? : ) At some point he told me that he had been thinking about this night ever since I sent that text to Rachel. And so we hung out until 5:30, just talking, joking, cuddling, and kissing.

What's a better way to end a night? Or an early morning..

As this has gotten long, I'll continue on about Brock tomorrow in another post.

Birthday Happenings

I must say, I'm very surprised at all of the Birthday wishes I received yesterday. My mom called like 3 times yesterday and once today. She got my voice mail all four times though. Jay didn't call me, though a week ago he said that he hadn't forgotten about my birthday. Ok... A couple of my friends didn't wish me one, but that's ok. One person that didn't call was my dad. I was kind of hesitant on that one though. Just with our relationship and how it is I'm not surprised he didn't call. Besides, it's not like I'd call him up on his birthday or on Father's Day or anything. Though it sounds bad, I really like the relationship I have with my father. We both understand one another. My brothers Erik and Greg called yesterday. Greg called right after I got off work and didn't really have too much to say after he said, "Happy Birthday." Yeah...he never has too much to say to me. I think he still views me as the stubborn little girl I used to be. Though, that is not entirely untrue, but I have come a long way from the spoiled brat that I used to be, Ian could tell you that as he's the brother I'm closest with. Oh...and Greg also told me a few times, "Be careful" in reference to my new single life. And speaking of my single life, a boy in my Anthropology class told me today that if I ever get bored then I should call him up. Then he proceeded to give me his number. Super kick ass.

The best part of my birthday had to be when I got home. Emily had attempted to make a brownie cake for me. Heehee, it was the greatest! She doesn't eat eggs and since she wanted some of the cake, she substituted two bananas for two eggs. Also, she had put frosting on it right after she took it out of the oven and so it had started melting and she also put the candles in too soon so their bottoms melted. But I loved it; I just love strange and random things like that. And it tasted like chocolate banana bread... : )

So yeah, my birthday has come and gone. Well, maybe not. I guess I'll see what kind of celebrations (or lack of) await me when I get home.

I'm headed down to Ames tomorrow and staying with Steve for the night. Friday I'm spending the day in State Center and then I'm coming home that night with Jacob and Steve in tow. They get to sit alone in my duplex together while I go off to work. Haha.

19!

So today is my 19th birthday. Usually in the mornings of my birthday I wake up and the first thought that hits my head is the fact that it's my birthday. Today I just kind of laid there and thought about how I didn't want to get up and then thought, "Oh yeah....wait...today's my birthday." Then I just kind of shrugged. It's kind of like X-mas, it won't really feel like it until I go home.

Tyler called me last night around midnight. I picked up to have him busting out "Happy Birthday" to me. Oh Tyler, what would I do without that boy. Steve woke me up around 1 to wish me "Happy Birthday." Such sweet boys I know.


I'm working tonight. Happy Birthday me.

Car Chase

On the way home from work tonight, I found myself to being seconds away from a could-be collision. While on Broadway, this white truck came streaming out of a street and turned right onto Broadway. It almost crashed into the front of the car ahead of me and I watched as it zoomed into the other lane before it got back into the "proper" lane. A cop came soon after. I was talking to Steve on the phone at the time and I go, "Oh my god!...There's a fucking car chase, this is so cool!" Heehee, I was exactic as I thought "If I had just been a few seconds faster, I would have gotten hit." As I turned onto 2nd street, I saw cops on my street turning left and now if I look out my kitchen window, I see mulitiple cop cars with their lights a'flashing just down the street. Ahh, I love this shit.

I couldn't help but post this. My powers/pheramones are way out of control. (These were just recently posted on their blogs.

www.crapfromsteve.blogspot.com
Steve said: "Liz is quite possibly the most intriguing girl I have ever met, and I must admit that I am quite taken by her. She has the most irresistable and intriguing sense of humor... one of those people that will verbally abuse you (kiddingly most of the time), and I just can't seem to get enough.... "

www.jacobsblogajeas.blogspot.com
My gay friend Jacob said: "One of my best friends is Liz AKA jellofat. She is the most interesting person i have ever met. She is funny, sadistic and really sarcastic. All of which create the best personality in a person"



How do these boys form such delusions?

My Fear

There is a fucking centipede in my room and I'm going to fucking freak out! I HATE centipedes! I can handle cockroaches, giant milipdes and whatnot, but centipedes?! They can all go to hell.

Oh, centipedes are one of the rare things I fear and one of the only things I'll actually freak out about. Seriously, this centipede came into the living room before going into my room and I was like a deer in headlights. I couldn't move!

Losing digital cameras is funny, centipedes are not.

Please Don't Take My Picture, It's Been a Bad Day

Ok, so I've used this title before but this time it REALLY works for what happened to me yesterday. Yesterday wasn't the greatest day for me. In the beginning of the day, nothing too big just happened, just minor annoyances. Take for example: I realized that instead of putting March on my time-off request sheet at Target, I put February. So instead of asking for the 14th-20th of March off, I had asked for the 14th-20th of February off...But I called Target and got things worked out and last night I found that I'm only working the 1 2th,13th, and 14th. The rest of the week is off!

Oh, it gets worse. And I'm just going to dive into it. Guess who left their roommate's expensive digital camera on the bus? Yeah, I did. I had borrowed her camera yesterday to take a picture of me and my group members. We're doing this presentation where we're pretending to take a road trip and we're going to Graceland. I was going to have Tyler do photoshop and cut out our heads and just other funny shit. So on the way home, I set the big camera bag on the seat next to me and start reading Harry Potter. When I get off, I just stand up and sling my bag around my shoulders and exit the bus. I don't even think twice about the camera. I mean, I never carry anything in my hands so when my hands weren't holding the camera, nothing felt strange. Ah, boy. It wasn't until like an hour later that I realized I didn't have the camera. I called up the Lost and Found but it hadn't been reported yet. At this point, I wasn't freaking out, nor did I ever freak out last night. Thing is, I just don't freak out in situations like this. Instead, I just laugh; I laugh at how funny the situation that I got myself into is. I just fucking laughed my ass off last night and I called my friends and was laughing; I called my mom and laughed about it. I mean, I didn't feel it the end of the world; I can always just buy another camera. The one thing I DID worry about though was calling Emily. She REALLY freaks out about shit and I wasn't looking forward to telling her about it. So, I call her up and tell her, "Something really bad has happened." Those are the first words out of my mouth. (I'm really good at setting people up for news.) Emily screams out, "What happened?!" So I told her I left her camera on the bus and she just yells at me, "I. Am. Going. To. KILL YOU!" Oh yeah, I just love being threatened. So then Emily started to cry as she went over what she lost and she was asking, "How could I do this to her." Well, you know, I really DID mean to leave it on the bus, especially knowing how much it'd cost me to replace it.

Things are better now though. They got better a lot quicker than I thought they would actually. I thought Emily would hate me for weeks, but it was only during the phone call. She came home and was in a better mood. I called the Lost and Found place today but it still hasn't turned up. As Emily said, "Someone has a really nice present now." Yeah, no shit. We're going to go onto E-Bay and try and find a nice priced camera which I will pay for with my birthday money.

Happy Fucking Birthday Liz, you stupid Fuck Nut.

17 Just Held Such Better Days

Ok, so that's not exactly truthful. As I get older, my experiences have definitely gotten better so no, 17 did not hold better days. But, I still wish I was 17. I just feel that it's a very good age to be, and besides, I liked being illegal. :)

So, as of today, my birthday is in one week. Yeah, count it down to March 8th! Oh, 19 is coming. I don't want to be 19. Then there is only one more year until I'm 20. Damn. I miss being younger. I mean, when I was in my mid-teens I'd get comments from people like, "Wow, you really like some good music for your age." And then into 17-18, I'd get comments from people like, "Seriously?! I thought you were like 21-22; you just act more mature." Now I'm going to be more around that age. I'll be acting my age for once...damn.

It doesn't even seem like my birthday is coming up. I miss being young and just having it seem like forever to get to my next birthday. Now it just comes and goes like nothing and it doesn't carry the same "magic" with it that it used to.

So what am I doing for my birthday? Ahh, I don't know. When I was with Jay, I remember looking forward to what he'd do for me. Now I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even call...what a bastard.

Oh 19...